Prayer Rules!
by Fr. Bohdan Hladio

The chain, as the saying goes, is only as strong as its weakest link.  If we wish to have a strong Church, we must have strong parishes.  If we wish to have strong parishes, we must have strong families.  If we wish to have strong families, we must individually have strong faith, and in order to have strong faith we must pray.

With the exception of regular and frequent attendance at Divine Services - Sunday and Holy day liturgies, vespers, orthros, akathists, etc.  - there is no more important factor in our development as Christians than our personal life of prayer.  It is not an exaggeration to say that no one can claim to be a Christian if they do not engage in regular, personal prayer.  Prayer is something that no one can do in our place, anymore than it’s possible for someone to repent in our place.   People can pray for us, but no one can pray in my place.  God has children, but no grandchildren.

In our hectic, busy and complicated world, where it seems that we don’t have time for much of anything, how should we approach this most important of Christian deeds?  What principles are necessary to observe,  what compromises are permitted (and not permitted) in properly ordering our prayer-life?

The Rule of Prayer.  The particular ordering of our personal, daily prayers is referred to as our “rule of prayer.”  Interestingly, the word “rule” can have several different meanings.  It can, for instance, refer to an ordinance or directive, to a measuring stick (a “ruler”), or it can refer to governance, as in a King who rules over a country.  It is worthy of note that all these definitions have an important place in our understanding of the rule of prayer - it is the sign if my allegiance to the King; it refers to measurement in regards to the length of my daily prayers; and refers to governance insofar as prayer is a rule I must follow if I wish to be a Christian.

Simply put, the rule of prayer is the specific order of prayers prayed by a Christian during the course of a day.  It will normally include prayers upon rising or morning prayers; prayers before sleep or evening prayers; prayers before meals; and may include other prayers during the day and/or prayers on the prayer-rope (kombouskini).

It is commonly accepted that every Orthodox Christian should have a particular rule of prayer which they follow religiously (pun intended).  The rule of prayer is different for clergy, monastics, the faithful, mothers, fathers, children, etc.  The particular rule of prayer which we follow should ideally reflect our spiritual maturity, our state in life, and take into account our lifestyle and family situation.

The golden rule regarding our prayer life is the law of consistency.  It is more important to be able to set aside 5 minutes every morning and every evening for simple, heartfelt, unrushed prayer than to take on a rule of prayer which will take an hour to complete, and which I might only fulfill once or twice a week.  In our prayer life (as in most everything) it’s quality, not quantity, that counts.

Where should I pray?  Many people have the mistaken idea that we go to Church to pray.  While prayer is an important part of what we do in Church, we actually attend services in Church primarily in order to worship God.  Jesus states in the Gospel “when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly” (Mt. 6:6).  This teaching is maintained in the Orthodox Church.  An Orthodox home will have a particular corner or wall, normally the eastern corner or wall, where the icons will be displayed.  This would be the normal place for familial prayer.  Other personal prayers might be said in a quiet place, perhaps in our own rooms, standing or sitting in front of the icons with the door closed. Whether we are at home, at work or traveling, the main criterion regarding where we pray is that it be quiet and reasonably private. 

Morning prayer.  Any good prayer book will have a section entitled “morning prayers” or “prayers upon arising.”  These are not hard to find.  The most important and difficult aspect of morning prayers is not which prayers are said, but getting up on time!  The Christian life is very practical, and it begins here.  If I am to keep to a schedule of prayer, I must start on time.  Having good intentions to pray for five minutes every morning will bear no fruit if I don’t wake up at least five minutes earlier every morning, and in fact might cause both me and my family grief.  Prayer upon arising - giving the first minutes of the day to God - is an ancient and beneficial Christian exercise, a discipline that each and every one of us should personally practice.  

Regarding which prayers might be said, the general outline in any good Orthodox prayer book is relatively similar.  We begin with the usual beginning or “trisagion” prayers (opening blessing, prayer to the Holy Spirit, Trisagion, prayer to the Holy Trinity, and the Lord”s prayer), followed by the troparia upon arising, the prayer of St. Basil the Great, the 50th psalm, the Nicaean Creed, and then a greater or lesser amount of other prayers.  Just this basic beginning, from the opening blessing till the creed, can easily be recited prayerfully in five minutes, and is a good beginning for those who do not currently practice any morning prayers.  If done devoutly, consistently, and with attention it will bring great benefit to the life of the one praying.  The simple psychological benefit of beginning the day in peace (and no one can truly pray if they are not first at peace) will bring its own benefits to our own life and the lives of those around us.

Evening prayers.   Slavic prayer books tend to follow a format for evening prayers which is similar  to that of the morning prayers, the difference occurring in the text of the prayers themselves.  Byzantine (Greek, Syrian, Antiochian, etc.) prayer books will often give the text of Small Compline where we would expect to see evening prayers.  Compline is the service which is chanted after the evening meal in monasteries, and contains psalms, hymns and prayers before sleep.  Either of these practices is beneficial, it is simply up to the individual, under the direction of their spiritual father, to decide which of these approaches is best for them and then to follow it consistently. 

Prayers during the day.  Generally the prayers said during the day are short and informal.  Many prayer books contain specific prayers for specific daily needs - whether it be a simple “God, help me” or “Lord, bless!” before we begin a task, whether it be the prayers designated for students before or after lessons, or any other prayers applicable to my station in life, we can write these prayers on separate pieces of paper or memorize them and utilize them in the course of the day to ask God’s help and blessing in all we do. 

All of us, no matter where we are, should ask God’s blessing before we eat (the prayers for the blessing of food can be found in any prayer book) and cross ourselves.  Whether we are in a restaurant, at work, in the school cafeteria, at the food court in the mall, or anywhere else we should remember Christ’s words, “whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven” (Mt. 10:33), and not be ashamed to pray and cross ourselves before we eat.

The Jesus Prayer.  Many Orthodox Christians follow, as part of their rule of prayer, a particular and very beneficial way of praying known as the AJesus prayer@.  This is a short prayer, consisting of the words ALord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me the sinner@.  This is an ancient prayer, composed of two parts - the glorification of Jesus as the Christ, Lord, and Son of God, combined with our basic human prayer and need that God have mercy upon us.  This prayer is normally said using a prayer rope to count the number of repetitions.  For example, a member of the faithful might have a rule of prayer which encompasses a particular selection of morning and evening prayers, and 50 repetitions of the Jesus Prayer on the prayer rope.  This prayer on the prayer rope might be done in conjunction with, or apart from the morning or evening prayers, but it is especially important that it be done in a quiet, unhurried manner, and in a quiet place. 

The Jesus Prayer is a very beneficial method of prayer, but one which should be done under the direction of someone who is experienced in this method of prayer.  There are many good books available on the Jesus prayer, but books cannot look us in the eye and relate their contents to our individual circumstances.  As we all know, others often have a clearer picture of our personal strengths and weaknesses than we do ourselves.  We must be especially wary of pride as a motivation for prayer (or for anything else), and so while the advice and direction of a holy, prayerful spiritual father or experienced monk or nun is important regarding our prayer life in general, it is especially important regarding our practice of the Jesus Prayer, for as we all know, that which brings the greatest potential benefits often contains the greatest risks.

Other methods of prayer.  Two other types of prayer which are commonly practiced are intercessory prayer and “improvisational” or extemporaneous prayer.  Intercessory prayer is simply prayer for a specific person or intention.  We might pray for someone’s health, for the repose of their soul, for their quick recovery, for success in school or at work, etc.  The common way of doing this is by mentioning the name of a specific person or persons in a short petition, for example, “Lord  Jesus Christ, give health to your servant(s) . . . “ or “Grant rest, O Lord, to the soul(s) of your servant(s) . . . .”  In praying for ourselves we can simply adjust the words of the Jesus prayer to reflect our intention, for example “Lord Jesus Christ, help me complete my work successfully.”  Such intercessory prayer is very good and necessary.  These types of petitions for our family, friends and other intentions fit well at the end of our formal morning and evening prayers, as well as during the day as the need arises.

Many of us have no doubt encountered Protestant Christians who don’t believe in structured prayer, but “pray as the spirit moves them.”  This type of free or improvisational prayer is not bad or evil in and of itself, but it is not generally recommended for just anyone.  Why?  Imagine an 8 year-old who wants to be a jazz saxophonist, and has been given a saxophone and taught to play notes on it.  In order for this young person to learn to improvise they don’t begin by playing whatever notes they wish in whatever order they wish.  First they learn scales, music theory, how different musical keys relate to one another, standard musical phrases, etc.  This takes years.  Only at the end of this structured education do they begin to be able to successfully improvise.

The Church has always followed the same logical and beneficial approach.  We begin to pray not by using our own words, but God’s words.  We say the Our Father.  We recite the angelic salutation to Mary.  We read the psalms. We pray the prayers of the saints.  Only after years of repeating God’s prayers will we begin to understand the true depth and meaning of prayer.  As Fr. Thomas Hopko liked to say, prayer is not about putting our mouth where our mind is, but about putting my mind where my mouth is!  

Families with children.  Parents have a special responsibility as far as the prayer life of their children is concerned.  In addition to their own rule of prayer, parents should pray with their children both morning and evening.  While the personal and familial prayer of a parent might be combined to a greater or lesser degree, it is especially important that children learn to pray every day, morning and evening, from their youngest years.  The prayers themselves should obviously be short and easily understood, and expanded as the child grows.  The example of a parent or parents praying both with their children and also alone is a lesson which children will never forget.        

Why is prayer important?  There are many who might say that our personal prayer is at best a crutch and at worst a waste of time.  There are those who would say that rather than sitting home praying we should be doing something “useful.”  Didn’t Jesus say, after all, that we would be judged on whether or not we fed the hungry, clothed the naked, visited the sick and those in prison, etc.?

Yes, He did, but He also went out into the desert to pray alone.  He left crowds of people who had come to be healed and taught in order that He might have time to commune with His Father in prayer.  He did not say “I am above the need for prayer and worship,” but He attended and took active part in Divine Services and spent time (probably much more than most of us do) in prayer and fasting. 

If Our Lord gives us this example, we who bear His name must follow it.  Those who follow a regular rule of prayer do not need to be convinced of its value, and so the only answer we can give to the question “do I really need to do this?” is “try it and see.”  Anyone, following a reasonable rule of prayer for 6 months, will experience the value, benefits and blessings it brings.  They will find that rather than taking time away from “useful” deeds like helping the poor, elderly or infirm they will (almost magically) find more time for this important work.  Indeed, the argument can be made that Jesus was able to teach, preach and heal as much as He did not in spite of the amount of time He spent in prayer, but precisely because of the time He spent in prayer. 

We often hear complaints about the state of our parishes and Church.  Lack of funds, lack of youth, lack of attendance, the absence of a welcoming atmosphere, etc., etc., etc.  There is really only one person who can address these problems – each one of us personally.  Following a rule of prayer consistently and humbly will bring a peace, relief from stress, and simplicity to our personal lives, and is the first and irreplaceable step to successfully addressing the problems and challenges of our lives, parishes and Church.