The Greatest Gift

The feast of the Nativity of our Lord can be summed up as follows: Our Father – God, gives His Son - Jesus Christ, to us – His children. 

It’s human nature to want to “return the favour”, to give back to those who give to us.  In the given instance, an appropriate gift to God would be our children.

Yet how often we hear the question “what can we do to keep our children in the Church?”  It’s no secret that young people are leaving Churches – no matter what the denomination – in record numbers.  Is there anything we can do to stem this tide?  If so, what?

To retain our youth we must concentrate on four aspects of their spiritual formation: the home, the parish, formal religious education, and their peer group.

1. The Christian Home. As G.K. Chesterton observed, “education is implication”. Children are constantly learning – usually by example.  If we want our children to remain with the Church we must, from their earliest years, maintain an Orthodox Christian family lifestyle.

This means formal daily family prayer.  It means fasting according to the practice of the Church.  It means that almsgiving, deeds of mercy, and material aid to the poverty stricken, hungry and homeless are part of family life.

It means frequent attendance at Church services.  It means watching what we say: how is the Church, God, or the priest spoken about in the children’s presence?  It means maintaining a pious atmosphere in the house – are there icons or crosses in each room? Is sacred music heard?  Are the radio and TV turned off during Lent?

We must minimize negative influences such as non-or anti-Christian TV programs, movies, video games, magazines, etc.  We must make sure the computer is used as a tool, not a toy.  We must be very wary of social media. And we must make absolutely sure that good Christian literature – beginning with the Bible – is available and read.

2. The Parish Church. The parish community must welcome the presence and encourage the participation of youth. Worship needs to be conducted in a language the youth understand.  The sermon should engage the youth, whether as a specific youth sermon once a month or a portion of the sermon every Sunday.   Besides being intelligible, the service should be beautiful.   If we take our Church services seriously our youth will want to participate as altar servers, singers, readers, etc.  What will our children think if they see that we’re more concerned with properly organizing a golf-tournament or a dance than making sure the Divine Liturgy is conducted in a beautiful and orderly fashion?
3. Formal Education – Every child should have as much formal Christian education as possible. This must include participation in Church or Sunday School, Church-sponsored summer camps, and Bible studies or educational seminars in the parish.

The example of parents and other elders in this regard cannot be overestimated.  There’s a saying that a man must study all life long in order to die an ignoramus. Christianity is an adult faith, but the sad fact is that most of our youth stop formal religious education by about grade 8 – just at the time in their life when they’re beginning to be capable of intellectually grasping Christian teachings more deeply and fully.  And so we end up with parishioners who are 50 or 70 years old but only have a child’s understanding of Christianity in general and Orthodoxy in particular.  Our children go away to university and they can’t defend their faith against the first Protestant, Muslim, or Atheist they encounter, because they don’t know their faith. 

If we want our youth to remain in the Church a commitment to life-long formal Christian education by all members of the community is a must.

4. Church-sponsored youth groups. When a young person gets in trouble we often hear someone say “they fell in with the wrong crowd”. Peer pressure is the single most powerful influence on teenagers.   If we want them to stay with the Church we’ve got to make sure that they belong to a peer-group which exerts positive peer pressure.

If we are serious about keeping our youth parish sponsored youth groups from grade school through high school, and then Orthodox Christian Fellowships during their university years, must be a priority in every community.  Such groups facilitate the development of a social circle and support group, teach them that service to Church and society are personally fulfilling activities, and contribute to a positive and hope-filled atmosphere in the community. 

Such youth groups must have three main foci – socialization, service, and faith.  Meetings and activities should be arranged so that the youth have a chance to just get together and enjoy one another’s company; to deepen their knowledge about their faith; and to perform acts of service to the parish community as well as the community at large.

Christmas is associated with gifts.  Children and youth are a gift to the Church.   I am always heartened by the joy, gratitude, and positive sentiment our older parishioners express when commenting upon the presence of babies, toddlers, and well-mannered, respectful youth in Church. The greatest gift we can give our children is the gift of Christ.  The greatest gift we can give God is our children.  Either way, it’s the only gift which really “keeps on giving” – both in this world, and in the world to come.

Fr. Bohdan Hladio
January 2008